Positive Discipline Support Groups - by Emi Canahuati


Abintra has brought back regular Positive Discipline support groups for parents! Throughout my journey to become a certified PD facilitator, I am reminded of the importance of having a support system and regular check-ins when doing this mindful work. Even though I have been practicing PD and taking workshops since our daughter started here at Abintra seven years ago, it’s helpful to have the support and hear the experiences of other parents to keep me on the PD track. Once a month, as part of the Parent Education program at Abintra, we will be having a support group for parents to continue to refine our skills with PD and build community with other parents.

During our first support group, we worked on leaving the house on time and in peace. I think we have all experienced this at some point, or are still struggling with it. We talked about what might be mistaken belief behind the child’s behavior, and some PD tools that might help address the issue.

We talked about:

  1. Taking the time to work out the issue together. We can’t always “solve” an issue the moment it happens, especially when those involved have “unflipped lids” (high emotions or stress from a difficult situation). Instead, we can set aside time for a family meeting to discuss the issue and problem-solve together. (Example: "It sounds like we are upset right now, so let's put this on the family meeting agenda so we can figure out a solution together.")

  1. Putting a plan into place. Once everyone has had a chance to contribute and a plan is established, put it into play and revisit it as often as possible until it’s working for everyone.

  1. Reducing power struggles with simple communication. As parents, sometimes the more we talk, the more opportunities there are for power struggles and conflicts with our children. In these situations, using one word or non-verbal signals can help.

  1. Routine charts as a useful tool. Rather than having a person as “the boss,” the chart is the vehicle moving everyone forward, leaving each family member to take responsibility for their own work. (Sounds like: "What else is left on your routine chart so we can leave on time?")

  1. “Asking vs. telling.” Instead of making demands or commands, we can shift to asking curiosity questions that will help our children develop problem-solving skills and creativity. (Sounds like: “What’s your plan for getting your room clean?” instead of, “Go clear your room, pick up your toys, and put your clothes away.”)

These were just some of the tools we discussed. Please join us next time on Tuesday, March 13 at 9:00 AM. Remember that the challenges our children present us with are also opportunities to teach them the skills they need to grow into adulthood. Until next time, remember ~ Kind AND Firm.


Upcoming Parent Support Groups:

  • Tuesday, March 13, 8:45-10 AM
  • Monday, April 23, 8:45-10 AM
  • Thursday, May 10, 8:45-10 AM

Upcoming Positive Discipline Workshops (Childcare Available):

  • Positive Discipline for Parents of 7- to 14-year-olds
    • Saturday, March 3, 9 AM - 1 PM

  • Intro to Positive Discipline
    • Saturday, March 17, 9 AM - 1 PM


Human Growth and Development Parenting Workshops (Childcare Available):

  • The Birds and the Bees: Human Growth and Development in Early Childhood
    • Saturday, March 24, 10 AM - 12 PM

  • Surviving Puberty: Human Growth and Development for Parents of Tweens and Young Teens
    • Saturday, April 14, 10 AM - 12 PM
Sign up online for Human Growth and Development Workshops here! 

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