Lower School News - Emotional Intelligence

Can we teach emotional intelligence to our students?

Yes, we can. In fact, you as a parent are teaching your child emotional intelligence from birth. The moment you hold your baby and soothe him when he cries, you are teaching him to calm down after being upset. You teach emotional intelligence in everything you do with your child, and you are the first teacher. 

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and practiced. It is the ability to understand what we feel and how other people feel. It is the realization that emotions matter and attaining the ability to manage them. Emotional intelligence is as essential for success in life as academic skills are.

We teach emotional intelligence to our students in four steps:

• Self-awareness: We teach the child to identify what she is feeling and understand that what she is feeling impacts her responses, e.g.; “I noticed you are getting upset about....” Every emotion has its place. Every emotion is an important message. The trouble begins when emotions become too strong or out of place or take over. 

• Self-management: We teach the child to achieve his goals by staying positive during setbacks. We teach him that he has a choice about what to do when he feels the emotion, e.g.; “Pause, stop, breathe.” Listening to the emotion is important to understanding what the emotion is telling us. Once the emotion accomplishes its purpose of bringing our attention to something, it is key to move on to the next thing. 

• Empathy: We help the child understand how other people feel. Typically, people don’t tell us how they feel in words. They tell us in other ways - tone of voice, non-verbal gestures, etc. Being able to pick that up and to understand another's point of view is a very important part of emotional intelligence. 

• Managing relationships well: We promote collaborative teamwork to settle conflicts. We practice communicating what the problem is, identifying feelings and working on a solution or agreement.